My dear friend Brother Tim, the Bama fan, has been know to write poems leading up to Alabama football games. His poems are catchy, humorous, and really quite entertaining. One would never believe a poetic sensibility could actually come from a box crayons. The Crimson one is down to a nub.
Earlier in the week, I ask the poet laureate of the Bear Bryant state if he had a poem to share. He answered that he had yet to be inspired to do so. I grinned a crooked grin and thought, the stars are lining up. The Rebels are going to do something they have never done. They are going to beat up on AL two years in a row. His trunk is going to be so sore he’ll be soaking it in Epsom salts at halftime. Hotty Toddy, I say. Hotty Toddy!
Brother Tim gave me a line of whooey I have since forgotten as he was rationalizing his Roll Tide ways. Something about not looking to the past and looking forward or sideways or some load of crap like that. Brother Tim knows I love him. This week it is more like he is Cousin Tim and he just grabbed the last five chicken legs off the table.
This is a wonderful game. So are biscuits.
On to the picks my friends, and I need to hurry, the first one of these kicks off in less than two hours this Thursday evening.
Clemson will beat Louisville…A Tiger or a bird? You figure it out.
North Carolina will beat Illinois….The Illini are struggling on and off the field. The Tar Heels are on the rise.
Louisiana Tech will beat Kansas State….this is an upset. Skip Holtz and his Bulldogs believe in themselves and I believe in them too.
LSU will beat Auburn…the TV schedule makers farted this week. This game is being played at LSU at 3:30 ET. This game should be played at 9:15 ET instead of the Bama-Ole Miss game in Tuscaloosa which is kicking off late. Here’s the thing…there is not a better sight late on a college football night than the Tiger Eye in the middle of Death Valley. That will be missed. That and it will be a long day waiting on the BIG GAME.
Notre Dame will beat Georgia Tech…shades of Rudy won’t matter. It will be close. ND will prevail.
Virginia Tech will beat Purdue….give it to the Hokies they can schedule a cupcake without scheduling a cupcake.
Indiana will beat Western Kentucky…I did not believe this until this week. For whatever reason, I have a modicum of faith in the Hoosiers. Strange…but true. If they win this one, they will win 7 or 8.
Georgia will beat South Carolina…Look out for UGA…this dog is for real. Cocky? He might as well be those chicken legs Tim swiped from the table.
Kentucky will beat Florida…the double whammy for UK. Beat the old ball coach one week then beat his old school the next. Will it help recruiting? Probably not.
Texas beats Cal….perhaps no other team in America needs a win more than the Longhorns. Their AD gets the heave-ho and there is a great deal of speculation swirling around their head coach. Don’t talk about how much you love him…win some games!
Iowa beats Pitt...I am back on the corn-wagon one more time. Why? They beat Iowa State and a great deal of pride came with it. Make Hayden Fry proud. Do the Hokey Pokey in the locker room after the win like Coach Fry and his boys used to.
Marshall beats Norfolk State…after the bonehead move of the year so far. The Herd beat Purdue one week and then lost to the Ohio Bobcats the next. Bad habits are back for a team that has had its trouble winning away from The Joan in recent years.
USC beats Stanford…Tommy Trojan gets it in gear again. The Cardinal will be on the end of Tommy’s sword.
UCLA beats BYU…forget about the miracle finishes by the boys from Provo. It was fun…and entertaining while it lasted.
Ole Miss beats Alabama…and I will spend ample time on a post next week letting Brother…uh, Cousin Tim know how foolish I have been at his expense with this post. Yea…right. Go Rebels!
What do I know anyway? Not much apparently. So far I have picked 20 winners and 10 losers. This is not good. This week I am counting on improvement. So is the Herd, and UCLA, and Indiana, and….
Speak the Rights!
Danny Johnson